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![Funeral Arrangements](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/ddee89_823493b529e54ed0aa2c5343289bd666~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_980,h_339,al_c,q_80,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_auto/ddee89_823493b529e54ed0aa2c5343289bd666~mv2.jpg)
Frequently Asked Questions
We’ve provided a list of answers to questions we frequently receive regarding our services and other activities related to funerals. If you don't see the answer to your question here, feel free to contact us. We'd be happy to give you more information and clarify any of your concerns.
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Should I bring my children to the funeral?You should use your judgment to determine whether your child is old enough to comprehend death, whether attending the funeral will be meaningful to them. It’s important for children to be allowed to express their grief and share in this important ritual. If you bring young children, explain beforehand what they will see and experience, and make sure that they know the importance of being on their best behavior. If your child becomes cranky or noisy, remove them promptly to avoid disturbing those who are mourning.
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Can I personalize my service?Absolutely! Our staff has years of experience getting to know families and incorporating their loved one’s hobbies, activities, interests, and unique requests into meaningful and memorable services. Don’t hesitate to make a request because you think it might be too “out there”—we’re honored to work with you to create a service that truly reflects and celebrates your loved one’s individual life journey.
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What is a funeral?A funeral is a ceremony for celebrating, honoring, and remembering the life of a person who has passed away. While specific customs, traditions, and practices differ across different cultures and religions, all funerals serve the key purpose of giving the bereaved a special time and place to say goodbye and find comfort and healing in one another.
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What is a "viewing"?A viewing—also known as “visitation,” a “wake,” or “calling hours”—can involve an open or closed casket, and is seen as a vital part of the grieving process. Having their loved one present often helps family and friends to accept the reality of their loss, especially for those who may not have seen him or her in a while. The opportunity to come to terms with the death and say a final farewell is an important step on the road to closure and healing.
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What to Wear to a Funeral?Try to find out the dress code before you attend, so that you can be sure you'll fit in and look appropriate. If you aren't sure, simply try to dress in a conservative way that shows respect for the family and other mourners. This doesn't necessarily mean you must wear black (in fact, some families specify "no black" for their services), but try to avoid overly bright colors. For men, a suit and a conservative tie is usually a safe bet. Women should generally wear a conservative dress, skirt, or pants with a tasteful blouse.
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What about Religious & Ethnic Customs?Traditions and customs differ among various communities, ethnic groups and religions, and it's often helpful to ask beforehand about any special considerations you need to take into account. We can answer many of your questions, and can also point you toward resources that offer specific and detailed guides.
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Should I express emotions at a funeral?A funeral is an emotional time, and grieving is a natural part of the healing process. Don't feel uncomfortable if you or the bereaved begins to cry. However, if you find yourself becoming extremely upset, it is kinder to excuse yourself to avoid increasing the strain on the family.
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What should I say to family members?Upon arrival, approach the family and express your sympathy with an embrace or by offering your hands. Don't feel that you should avoid talking about the person who has died...in fact, talking can help the grieving process to begin. Express your sympathy in your own words, however it feels right to you. Kind words about the loved one who has passed are always appropriate, and a simple "I'm sorry for your loss" or "My thoughts and prayers are with you" can be meaningful and comforting for the bereaved. Don't ask the cause of death; if the family wants to discuss it, let them bring it up. Avoid giving unsolicited advice, or making comments that might unintentionally diminish the importance of the loss, such as "I've been through this before."
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Should I bring flowers or a gift?Sending flowers, making a donation, or giving a memorial gift are all meaningful gestures to let the bereaved know that they are in your thoughts. The simplest of tributes can be of great comfort to the family, and can express your sympathy when words just aren't enough.
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What can I do to help someone who lost a loved one?The grieving process doesn’t end with the funeral, and it will take time for the bereaved to heal. The family will need your support for months to come, so make sure to check in on a regular basis. Drop a note, make a phone call, and continue to invite them when you make social plans; they’ll let you know if and when they are ready to participate. Reach out to the family on special occasions, like birthdays or anniversaries, especially during the first year following their loss.
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What do I do when a death occurs out of town or away from home?It’s important that you contact the local medical authorities first (as well as the police, if appropriate), and then make sure to give us a call as soon as possible. We will work with you to make the necessary arrangements to get you and your loved one back home as quickly and easily as possible. Calling us will also help you to avoid duplication of efforts and fees.
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What should I say when I run into the bereaved in public?What you’ll say depends upon whether or not you’ve already had contact with the bereaved. If you’ve already offered your condolences, or attended the visitation or service, simply greet the bereaved warmly and express an interest in their well-being. If this is your first meeting since the death and you’re in a public setting, it’s kinder not to bring up the death directly. Instead, say something like, “I understand these must be difficult days for you,” and perhaps ask about when might be a good time to visit, or suggest that you meet for lunch.
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What is cremation?Cremation is the process that reduces human remains to 3-7 pounds of inorganic compounds and it accomplishes this by exposing the body to intense heat and flame for a 1.5 - 2 hour duration, at temperatures of approximately 1,600 degrees Fahrenheit. After the cremation, the cremated remains are mechanically processed until they have the consistency of coarse sand.
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Is a casket required for direct cremation?No. If a cremation provider offers direct cremation, the cremation provider is obligated to offer an alternative container to the families they serve. Alternative containers can be constructed of cardboard, plywood, or composite wood materials. All alternative containers must meet the construction requirements of the crematory.
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What is 'direct cremation'?A direct cremation is a cremation performed without a funeral or memorial service provided by the funeral home. Choosing a direct cremation does not mean that a viewing or services are not an option, though these items are available at an additional cost to the direct cremation.
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Is embalming required for a direct cremation service?No, embalming is not required for direct cremation.
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Can cremated remains be placed in a grave or cemetery plot?Yes. Cremated remains are placed in an appropriate container (for example an urn) which is then placed within a burial container (which protects the urn or container from getting crushed and protects from invasive pests), which is placed within the ground. This is a very common and practical solution for families who want to be placed next to other family members who chose traditional body burial.
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How can I be sure the cremation remains I receive are those of my loved one?First of all, cremation of multiple people at the same time is illegal in the US and many other countries, so the cremation chamber is not designed to hold more than one person at a time. In addition, cremation is a regulated process with strict procedures we follow to ensure we’re holding our services to the highest standard possible. All necessary paperwork and fees must be completed with local authorities, and then a checklist is completed at the crematory. A metal disk with a unique ID number accompanies your loved one from the time we receive the person throughout the cremation process, and after cremation occurs we attach the metal disk to the bag containing the ashes. Knowing the level of respect and meticulous care with which we treat your loved one, you can rest assured that you are receiving only your loved one’s ashes.
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Where can I scatter my loved one's cremated remains? Are there any restrictions?In general, the government does not regulate the scattering of ashes. Make sure you check with your local regulations beforehand, but most locations are usually okay as long as you are considerate and dispose of the container properly. If you wish to scatter the ashes on private land, it’s good practice to consult the landowner first.
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Can I still have a viewing and funeral service with cremation?Definitely! In fact, we encourage you to do so. Choosing cremation only indicates how you’d like to care for your loved one after the service and doesn’t exclude you from celebrating and honoring their life in any way. Whether you’d like to have visitation beforehand, arrange a funeral service before cremation, or wait and hold the service after the cremation, we’re happy to help you design a meaningful service to accompany the cremation.
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Do I have to purchase an urn or vessel for cremated remains?Yes, you will be required to purchase or provide a vessel for the cremated remains.
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Is it possible to ship cremation remains?If you wish to have a loved one's cremated remains shipped, they must be shipped via the United States Postal Service. UPS, FedEx and DHL will only transport urns that do not contain cremated remains. We are happy to help with packaging and mailing cremated remains.
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Who can authorize cremation?Washington State law has a specific order as to who is required to sign a cremation authorization. The order begins with a surviving spouse, registered domestic partner or legal guardian. If there is no surviving spouse, registered domestic partner or legal guardian, it becomes the responsibility of the majority of adult children. If there are no surviving adult children, it would become the responsibility of the parents of the deceased. If the parents of the decedent are no longer living, the majority of the decedent's adult siblings would be responsible.
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What is the purpose of embalming?Embalming is a process used to sanitize and temporarily preserve the body of a person who has passed away. It can also enhance the appearance of a person that has suffered damage from an accident or illness. By preserving the body through embalming, we can give you and your family time to make personalized and meaningful arrangements, including a viewing if desired.
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What does a Funeral Director do?A funeral director is a licensed professional who specializes in all aspects of funerals and related services. They provide support to the family, guide the arrangement of visitations and funeral ceremonies, prepare the deceased according to the family’s wishes, and ensure that everything goes according to plan. They also arrange for the removal and transportation of deceased throughout the process, and assist families with any legal or insurance-related paperwork they might need to file. They’re experienced at recognizing when an individual is having an extremely difficult time coping with a loss, and can provide extra support and recommendations for professional help if needed.
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Is embalming required by law?No. Except in rare circumstances, embalming is not required by law. However, most funeral homes do not permit public viewing without embalming. If you opt to not use embalming, oftentimes we can offer families the opportunity for a private viewing prior to burial with minimal preparation excluding embalming.
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Can we have a viewing if my loved one has donated organs or had an autopsy?Yes. Autopsies and organ donation do not affect your ability to have an open-casket visitation.
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How long does the cremation process take?This usually depends upon two things: the size of the individual and the type of casket or container used. A thin person in a cardboard container will take approximately 3 to 4 hours while a heavier person in a wooden casket could take approximately 4.5 to 5 hours.
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